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  I listened to conviction in his voice. I understood how difficult it would be for a warrior to be stripped of his possessions, unable to provide for his family. Jacob’s decision made sense. Still, I was filled with uneasiness. This white man's army fought in wars. In what war and against whose people I wondered, would Jacob Five-Wounds be ordered to fight?

  “I cannot think of such things Jacob,” I said. “I can only tell you I will not live amongst Army wives. I am not a white woman and I will not live like one!”

  Jacob accepted my words, a thoughtful expression coming to his handsome face. “You are correct, Tay. We are not white, or will we ever be. There are many things for us to consider when we think of our future. Go and rest. I will watch over the children.”

  I knew that my words had displeased Jacob, for his voice had a sharp-edge to it now. Sadness replaced the fatigue I had felt.

  I valued Jacob Five-Wounds friendship and I hoped I had not offended him. But I did not wish to take back my words. Though I did not have a home or any people to return to, I was still Nde. How could Jacob ask me to forget this?

  Nothing the Sisters did or Jacob said could ever change that fact.

  What caused me the greatest pain was that Jacob wished for me to change. How could he think that we could live with the army fortress? These people would never accept us as equals. Especially, when it was the Indian people the army fought.

  Turning on my heel, I hurried out of the room, tears brimming my eyes, clouding my vision. I was angry with myself for caring what Jacob Five-Wounds said. I was even more upset because I was giving thought to his plans.

  As I rounded the corner of the hallway, I nearly charged into Mary Billy.

  “Tay, tell what is wrong.”

  I was so upset by Jacob's words that for several moments I could only stop and stare at Mary Billy. Watching, as she carefully placed a stack of linens on a shelf.

  “Tay, are you ill?”

  Seeing he worried expression on my friend’s face, I found my voice. “No. I am only tired. Jacob Five-Wounds told me to rest.”

  “Ah, so now you are upset with Jacob. I understand. Ute men can be so bossy,” Mary Billy said, her dark-eyes humor.

  No. It is not that,” I said glancing down the hall and making certain that no one overheard us. “Jacob said something that upset me. . .I don't know what is wrong with me today. I am so confused. I don't seem to belong anywhere. I have no place to go when I leave the school.”

  “These are troubling times, Tay. Especially since Doctor Joseph has come to our school.”

  “Why do you say this Doctor Joseph is a good man. Life is better now.”

  Mary bit her lip and chose her next words with great care. “Yes. He is a good man. But Sister Enid and the doctor do not get along.”

  I handed her a stack of sheets from the wicker basket on the floor. “Why is this?” I asked, suddenly fearful that Sister Enid would send the doctor away as she had sent away Sister Kathleen.

  “The doctor blames the headmistress for the illness in the school,” Mary Billy said. “He says she did not see to the care of her charges. She allowed the conditions to become overcrowded. The food lacked nutrition.” Mary’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Dr. Joseph said Sister Enid did not obey the government's rules.”

  I felt my heart jump into my throat. Sister Enid would not allow anyone speak to her in such a manner. “What did Sister Enid say?”

  Mary Billy gave me an odd look. “She said nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Doctor Joseph is a member of the United States Army. Tay, this means Sister Enid must answer to him. Did you not know this?”

  My hands trembled causing me to drop towels I held back in the basket. “No, I did not know. . .never thought. . .” The realization that Sister Enid was accountable to someone filled my soul with hope. Perhaps Kathleen would return to the school. Before I could voice my thoughts, Mary Billy spoke.

  “Doctor Joseph oversees the running of the Indian boarding schools. He is one of the first Indians to be educated in the university. He is a surgeon. Doctor Joseph holds a highly respected position in the United States Army.”

  “This is a good?” I asked. “For an Indian to attend the university?”

  “To many people, yes. Dr. Joseph is well educated and accepted in the white world,” she replied.

  “All Jacob talks of is the white world.” I heard the bitterness in my voice. “I have seen the way the whites live. I do not wish for my children to be taken from me and sent to schools. Jacob talks of the army and Dr. Joseph speaks of the university. What of our future Mary? I believe we are women, is there no place for us?”

  Mary nodded her head. “I have many of the same thoughts. Soon we leave the school. Sister Enid knows we cannot make a life for ourselves in the city. Sister Louisa says we can work as wash women in a laundry or clean rooms in a hotel. But you and I know this is not true. If we go into the white world we will starve or worse.”

  “Do you wish to live in the white world?” I asked suddenly desperate for another choice. I did not wish for the school to be all the future held for me.

  “No,” Mary Billy replied.” I wish to go back home. My grandmother has a Hogan and she raises sheep. Grandfather makes silver necklaces and he sells them, along with my mother's woven rugs, to a trading post. This is what I wish what I would do in two years’ time.”

  “Why are you here.?” I asked not understanding how she could leave her family.

  “Grandfather was told by the government that I must attend this school. At first, he refused. Then the Army soldiers came and killed many of our sheep. The Navajo were told that if children did not attend the school by summer’s end the Army soldiers would return. Father was afraid that if more sheep were killed we would all starve. So, my father brought us here. He instructed me to study hard. It would be good he said for my brother and I to understand English. When we returned home, we would be better able to trade with the white man.”

  I glanced at the infirmary door and sighed. Perhaps I had been too quick to judge Jacob Five-Wounds. He, too, was looking to the future, his thoughts were of his family and a way to provide for the needs of a wife.

  “Sometimes, Mary Billy, I am filled with such anger. Anger for what has happened to me, and for what has been taken from me. I am afraid I have hurt Jacob.”

  “Talk to him, Tay. He will understand,” she told me. “Jacob Five-Wounds really cares for you.”

  I looked at my friend through troubled eyes. How could I make Jacob understand my fears? Especially, when I did not understand those fears myself.

  If my warriors are to fight they are too few; if they are to die they are too many.

  --Hendrik

  Mohawk

  Chapter 13

  “Jacob Five-Wounds. Would make a good husband,” Mary Billy teased me that evening at dinner.

  I felt my face grow hot and I kept my gaze focused on my plate of mashed potatoes and baked chicken. Since Doctor Joseph had come to the school living conditions had greatly improved. We were able to talk during evening meal without fear of being beaten.

  “Jacob Five Wound’s mind is only on joining the army,” I informed my friend. “He has no need for a wife.”

  “We shall see, Tay. It was Jacob Five-Wounds who sat beside your bedside when you were ill, was it not? It was Jacob Five-Wounds who found out why you and Anna Thunder were taken to the attic.”

  I dropped my fork and my gaze flew to Mary's face. “How did he know this?”

  “He saw you were not at the garden gathering the vegetables for the evening meal. Then later, when he heard Sister Enid ordering Sister Kathleen from the school, he knew something was wrong. He went to Sister Louisa.”

  “He went to Sister Louisa?” I asked, amazed Jacob Five-Wounds would act with such boldness. Mary Billy nodded. “Jacob demanded that she tell him where you were. Two days had passed by then, Tay. Two days that you and Anna Thunder were in the attic. I w
as still very ill at that time. It was Jenny Black who told me of this. She said Jacob would not give up. He just kept asking the students and the sisters. Then, finally. . .”

  “What happened?” I asked my heart pounding so furiously I began to feel light headed.

  “Sister Louisa finally told him where you were and Anna Thunder were. Jacob Five-Wounds was furious. He knew Sister Enid would never listen to him. So, he waited until Doctor Joseph pulled up in the wagon.”

  “Doctor Joseph?” I whispered. “Jacob went to speak with Doctor Joseph?” I could not believe what I heard. Jacob Five-Wounds had risked Sister Enid’s wrath. He did not know the doctor, yet he had gone to him.

  A warrior did not humble himself in such a manner, pleading for another's life. But Jacob had done this thing--he had done this for me.

  I glanced at the girls who sat around me. I did not know what to say. I felt very angry at myself. I had lost my temper with Jacob Five-Wounds Jacob who had helped to save my life. I bit my lip to stem my cry of dismay.

  Mary Billy's eyes were large with wonder. Her thoughts still focused upon the past so she was unaware of my reaction to this news.

  “Yes. Jacob climbed the fence and ran through the yard. When he reached the wagon, Sister Enid ordered him to be taken to the headmaster's office. But Jacob stood firm. He told the doctor that Sister Enid mistreated the female students, that she had them beaten and starved. He told Doctor Joseph to look inside the attic.”

  “This is how I was found?” I asked, moved beyond measure by what Jacob had done to bring me to safety.

  “Yes. Doctor Joseph had you brought to the infirmary. Sister Enid was confined to her quarters until a telegram could be sent. Doctor Joseph was very angry when he discovered Sister Kathleen was sent away.”

  At that moment, Jenny Blackhawk set her plate on the table and wedged herself between Mary Billy and Vida Graycloud.

  “There was such a terrible fight,” Jenny said in her soft lisping voice. “Doctor Joseph told Sister Enid he would do everything in his power to make certain she was sent back East. She would never serve as headmistress in any school again.”

  There was a collective gasp for the girls seated at my table.

  Prodded by a burning curiosity. I asked “What did Sister Enid say to him?”

  The other leaned closer to listen to Jenny Blackhawk’s answer. “Sister Enid called Doctor Joseph an ignorant savage and slapped him across the face.”

  This cannot be,” I gasped.

  “Was the doctor angry?” Vida Graycloud asked, her small voice a thread of sound.

  “Yes. He ordered two of his men to stand guard. One stationed at Sister Enid's door; the second man at her window. Then he escorted the headmistress to her quarters. Doctor Joseph never said a word when he returned to the courtyard, but he was angry”

  “How do you know he was angry?” the little girl asked.

  “In the old days, I saw my father filled with such anger. Once he picked up his lance and split the center of a tree. In the doctor's eyes, I saw such anger,” Jenny replied.

  All the students, aside from Mary Billy and myself, turned to discuss this new bit of information. As they whispered amongst themselves, Mary Billy leaned across the table. “Sister Louisa has changed.”

  I did not believe her words. I know my expression showed my skepticism.

  “Tay, I speak the truth,” Mary Billy said, “See for yourself.”

  I turned around to look, my gaze searching the room for Sister Louisa.

  Soon I discovered sister Louise had stationed herself at the far corner of the dining room. She was helping Letty Clay Basket refill her glass with water.

  I felt my jaw go slack when I saw Sister Louisa smile at the little girl.

  Sister Louisa smiled. She smiled at an Indian girl.

  “What caused this?” I asked.

  “After Sister Enid was locked in her quarters, Sister Louisa went to the doctor and told him what Sister Enid did to you and Anna Thunder. She told the doctor it was wrong. She even told him that Sister Bernadette was not to be punished. Sister Louisa said that if anyone should be punished, it was she and Sister Enid, not any of the others.”

  “What about Sister Kathleen?” I asked. “Will Doctor Joseph bring her back to the school?”

  At that moment our meal was interrupted by the clang of a large metal spoon against an empty stew-pot.”

  “Students, your attention please,” Sister Louisa called.

  We watched as Doctor Joseph stepped to the front of the dining room.

  Immediately, the room fell silent and the students twisted in their seats to get a view of the doctor. “I am here to tell you that the medical emergency is now under control. I'd also like to assure you that the conditions which brought about this illness have been eliminated.”

  After a murmur of approval darted around the room, the doctor said, “I am certain all of you are aware that some changes at the school are being made. I feel you have a right to know what the changes are and how they will affect you. Government officials have requested I remain here to see these changes implemented. But before we discuss those future plans, there is something I must do. I would like to introduce your new headmistress. . . Sister Kathleen. . .Please come and address the students.”

  I watched the other teachers gather round the podium and softly applaud Sister Kathleen's arrival. My heart was filled with such joy at seeing my favorite teacher once again. I blinked back my rush of tears as I glanced around the dining room.

  All of the students placed their utensils beside their plates and sat silent, waiting for Sister Kathleen to speak. This time the silence was one of respect, not fear as it had always been for Sister Enid.

  “It is good to be home,” Sister Kathleen said.

  I listened to Sister Kathleen, but my gaze wandered through the room, searching for Anna Thunder. She too, should be here to share this time of happiness. Soon, I found her, sitting alone sitting along the wall, far away from the other students.

  Anna Thunder felt my gaze upon her and she turned. She nodded in my direction then turned her attention back to Sister Kathleen.

  Even though the Comanche and I would never be friends, there was a shared bond of respect between us. My thoughts returned to her often since the death of Little Fawn. I wondered why Anna Thunder remained at the school. Even Sister Enid knew of the Comanche’s plan to run away. Why did she stay?

  In my heart. I knew it was not safe for her to leave, the journey was long. There was no guarantee she would find her people. Doctor Joseph spoke of the reservation and the long walk the Indians made to the government lands.

  In the darkness of the dormitory, there are whispers of the Cherokee Trail of Tears.

  Many had died during the long walk, we were told. Children. Women. Elders. What would Anna Thunder do if she returned home and found her people gone?

  At that moment there, was a round of applause from the students. I jerked in my seat and my attention turned back to Sister Kathleen.

  “I would like everyone to think about the chores she would like to preform here at the school. There will be some discussion on this matter. Students will be consulted in the future. Also, there will be some additional classes available to the older students,” Sister Kathleen said, glancing at Doctor Joseph.

  “The doctor has been kind enough to offer his time to train six students as nurses. This is a career which will promise gainful employment after graduation. I think it is something everyone needs to consider. Teachers are also in great demand. Sister Louisa and myself will be training students for this career. Now, are there any questions?”

  Father I love your daughter, will you give her to me, that the small roots of her heart entangled with mine, so that the strongest wind that blows shall never separate them.

  This is true. I love him only, whose heart is like the sweet juice that runs from the sugar-tree and is brother to the aspen leaf that always lives and shivers.

  A
nonymous

  Canadian

  Chapter 14

  Questions? Yes, my mind was filled with many questions since Sister Kathleen's return to school two months ago. But as I listened to the loud pounding of hammers overhead, I knew I could not act as if nothing had changed. With sister Enid gone, I was forced to think about the future.

  “Did you hear what Sister Kathleen plans to do with the Attic?” Mary Billy asked.

  I dried the remaining china cups and placed them on hooks inside the cupboard.

  “No,” I replied. “I spent the morning in Sister Louisa’s classroom. I did not see the workmen arrive.”

  “Tay, she plans to make it into a sitting room. Doctor Joseph ordered pane glass from St. Louis. The glass has to be set in the east wall. He called it a green house. He said the plants will grow quickly inside the new room. Sister Bernadette will care for the potted plants inside. Such a luxury for us, don't you think?”

  I repressed a shiver of fear at her mention of the attic. Still, after all this time, I was haunted by the memories of the attic.

  “It is good that Sister Kathleen has planned this sitting room,” I said, forcing happiness into my voice.” Perhaps, Sister Kathleen will speak to Anna Thunder. I am certain the Comanche would like to see the new room.”

  “As would Jacob Five-Wounds,” Mary Billy teased.

  I felt my cheeks grow hot and I fumbled at my task. “I do not think Jacob has time for such things. He is busy with Doctor Joseph.”

  “Perhaps. He does not work many hours in the infirmary,” Mary Billy said. “I think he would take part in side-by-side privileges that Sister Kathleen and Doctor Joseph allow.”

  “He wishes to join the army. This is what they talk of,” I said, uncomfortable discussing my feelings about Jacob Five-Wounds. Sister Kathleen and Dr. Joseph allowed the older boys and girls to sit together after Mass on Sunday afternoon. This is called side-by-side privileges. These meetings were supervised by one of the teachers and only hand-holding was permitted between the courting couple Jacob only approached me about the matter last week, and I had yet to give him my answer.